Breaking stigma, building compassion
In an exclusive interview with BCBookLook, Erin Steele discusses her latest memoir.
November 21st, 2024
Author Erin Steele lives in Kelowna. Photo by Nicole Richard.
Steele explores themes of addiction, identity and stigma, highlighting the power of vulnerability and honest storytelling to foster understanding and compassion.
Erin Steele’s memoir, Sunrise over Half-Built Houses: Love, Longing and Addiction in Suburbia (Caitlin Press/Dagger Editions $26.00) follows Steele as a shy teen in the early 2000s, navigating suburban life. Behind her seemingly normal existence, Steele skips class, struggles with her attraction to girls, and falls into pill addiction. Her journey unfolds amid secrets hidden in big houses, parties in forested outskirts, and relentless West Coast rains. Written with raw honesty, this coming-of-age tale explores addiction, identity and the yearning for authenticity, peeling back the facade of suburban life to reveal shared vulnerabilities and truths.
In the following interview, Steele talks about her writing process, challenges of writing about sensitive and honest topics, and more.
BCBookLook: What initially sparked the idea to write Sunrise over Half-Built Houses?
Erin Steele: I was still living with a pretty serious drug addiction when I realized that the emotional energy governing my pull toward drugs was identical to the emotional energy governing my pull toward many other things—things you won’t find catalogued under “addiction” in the manuals.
Right around that time, I came across the Joni Mitchell lyric: some turn to Jesus and some turn to heroin. Immediately, I was like: yes—we may “turn to” drastically different things in our finite lives, but the pull and reward is similar, if not identical.
That idea became the exploratory thread along which the character of me travels in Sunrise over Half-Built Houses. It’s also what makes it transcend a so-called typical addictions memoir.
BCBL: Your descriptions are intensely sensory and vivid. How did you use imagery to convey your interior struggles in the book?
ES: Much of my focus in crafting Sunrise over Half-Built Houses was on ensuring that the interior world of the character of me was as vivid as her external world—with my prose often mirroring the two.
For example, the character’s internal struggle between a so-called normal life and one of hidden turbulence is mirrored in the suburban neighbourhood where the narrative begins—pretty, but with a hidden underbelly.
I also use weather and oceanic imagery to give readers a relatable context for understanding and experiencing the character’s emotions, while anchoring (pun sort of intended!) to the Pacific Northwest setting.
For example, I describe craving as a cavern on a rocky shoreline that gets a taste of salt water before the tide goes out, leaving the cavern perpetually wanting.
BCBL: This book dives into sensitive topics, including addiction and coming to terms with identity. What was the most challenging part of writing such a personal and honest story?
ES: The biggest challenge was definitely the anticipation of how it would be received. Before hitting bookstores across British Columbia and beyond, only a small handful of people had ever read Sunrise over Half-Built Houses.
While keeping it to myself for so many years enabled me to write as honestly and vulnerably as possible, it also made the book an unknown quantity. I hypothesized that it would be relatable, but, of course, that wasn’t something I could predict.
Happily, positive feedback is now pouring in from everywhere, and I’m seeing truth to the adage “nothing to fear but fear itself.”
BCBL: Addiction often carries a powerful stigma. What motivated you to write so openly about it, and what myths or misconceptions were you hoping to challenge?
ES: It was the powerful stigma itself that motivated me to write so openly about addiction. It is heartbreaking at best and a black stain on society at worst that a public emergency with this high of a body count is raging on for so many years. Since it was declared a public emergency in 2016, the toxic drug crisis has claimed more than 14,000 lives in British Columbia alone.
It’s impossible not to believe that anything less stigmatized would have been addressed in an immediate, multi-pronged, creative, compassionate and collaborative manner. Instead, political battles tinged with morality eclipse the very real fact that very real people are dying every single day.
It’s a sad and helpless feeling that also makes sharing my story feel imperative. So, my hope is that Sunrise over Half-Built Houses helps grow compassion for those caught in the crossfires of politics and morality.
BCBL: Your story captures a time when LGBTQ+ representation was limited, particularly in suburban settings. What message do you hope readers take away about identity and belonging?
ES: There’s a scene in Sunrise over Half-Built Houses during which the character of me is struggling with confusing feelings for girls. At a party, a female acquaintance pulls the character aside to say that it’s not unusual for her to kiss a mutual female friend, but that it doesn’t mean anything. She then adds that the only difference for the character of me is that a kiss like that means something.
I hope readers take away the importance and impact of moments like these. What a difference we can make in the journey of our fellow humans when we drop judgement in favour of connectivity.
BCBL: What message or understanding do you hope readers in British Columbia—and especially younger readers—take away from this story, particularly those who may be struggling with addiction themselves?
ES: For those struggling themselves—particularly young people—I hope my book illustrates that while drugs may seem to make the challenging stuff go away, the hard truth is that avoiding the challenging stuff simply puts it on hold. Also that it’s scary and counterintuitive to face the challenging stuff, but that you’re strong and capable.
Then, I hope all readers see just how challenging and tumultuous the struggle can be, which I hope helps them check their biases, leaning instead toward compassion and support for those they deem “other.”
BCBL: What has been the most surprising or impactful feedback you’ve received from readers since the book’s release?
ES: Most impactful is definitely people from all walks of life telling me that they relate to the book, and that they’re looking at addiction through a new lens. That’s what I hoped for in crafting Sunrise over Half-Built Houses, so hearing it means everything.
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