Compersion, get used to it
August 17th, 2015
If you want to really upset most people, try defending polyamorists. They are the razor thin segment of society that practice consensual non-monogamy. In the Sixties and Seventies, the term for it was usually an ‘open marriage’ and such experiments rarely endured. Times have changed. And there are growing numbers of people seeking ways to manage jealously, inside and outside of formal marriage. Some will strive to take pleasure in a lover’s other sexual encounters. Jillian Deri has interviewed lesbian and bisexual polyamorous women for Love’s Refraction: Jealousy and Compersion in Queer Women’s Polyamorous Relationships (UTP $21.95). She focusses on the concept of “compersion” – taking pleasure in a lover’s other romantic relations – while exploring how and why polyamory challenges emotional and sexual norms. Jillian Deri received a PhD in Sociology from Simon Fraser University and lives in Vancouver. 9781442628694
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